"Make someone care"

My Story


Throughout my early teens, although I had friends and was an expressive and sociable person, there were certain parts of me that kept myself to myself. I was never one for going out because I didn't like the crowds in the places my 'friends' would go to, neither did I like the fact that they were drinking and getting up to things that I wasn't even thinking about at that age, even when I was 15 and 16. It wasn't my thing. People said "How would you know it's not your thing unless you've never tried it?" But I didn't want to try it, I had no desire to. I didn't need to try it because I knew it wasn't 'me.'

After school we all split and went our own ways. You realise after school that the people you spent the last 5 years or so hanging around with really aren't your friends and that females can be very bitchy and bitter.

I went to College to study Graphic Design. I wanted to study illustration but there was nothing like that available in the dead end town where I was and I couldn't afford to move away, so I took Graphic Design. After a year I finished because I ended up moving to London for a while. You could say I should have finished my course, but by this point I'd realised that Graphic Design really wasn't for me, I didn't like the people there and I really wasn't enjoying it. Plus, I had the chance to move to London which was an amazing uplift for me, coming from a small dead-end town in the countryside. Also I'd fallen in love for the first time so my head was away with the fairies. I really did just want to escape. The opportunity was there and BOOM - I was gone!

In London, I got a job and I worked on my illustrations in my spare time but never really branched out to anyone and still didn't feel like my work was up to a professional standard. I was in London six months before I went home. My boyfriend and I decided to save up for a place together. A year later we moved in together again in Bristol. Long distance was incredibly hard but we made it work. We'd take 5 hour train journeys to see eachother every 2 weeks.

In Bristol I carried on with my illustrations and had a job, but again I never branched out to anyone. Music took over my life for a bit and I spent the next few years in a daze, not really having any 'real' friends still and finding myself excluding myself from a lot of social gatherings that involved alcohol, which for a lot of people these days unfortunately means almost all social gatherings, so I never went to any of those. I spent a lot of time writing journals and reflecting on people in my life. I had a comfortable lifestyle but still didn't feel right, parts of me felt lonely and for a long time I felt like I was existing and not living. At the time I didn't have a lot of confidence in myself career wise, I didn't bother to look into things. Instead, I imagined them as being the impossible dream.

It wasn't until me and my first boyfriend of 5 years split up (an amicable split) and I had to move back to Norfolk. It wasn't until then that I actually started to put the thoughts in my head into practise. I spent a lot of the time thinking. By this time I had met my now boyfriend of almost 5 years on a visit to Manchester through friends and started spending a lot of time here. I got to know more people and a after a while, one night in my room I sat at my laptop and I applied to do a course in Animation.

I remember the moment where I sat down with my mum, upset, telling her how I wanted to leave. I'd already applied, had the interview and got accepted before I even told her. We got into a big emotional talk about how I've never felt right in Norfolk and how I feel like this could be the beginning of my life and me actually 'doing' something with it. She sympathised and told me if it'll make me happy, it'll make her happy.

So now here I am! I'm on my third year and happier than I've ever been in my life! I can honestly say I'm content. When I told this story to a friend of mind, he said the way I describe Norfolk sounds like everyone has 2 teeth and sits around playing the banjo! In compassion to Norfolk, I speak very highly of Manchester because Manchester to me has been like another world. It's been a world of opportunity where I've 'finally' got myself on a course in something I feel passionate about. There are so many things I love about this place and I'l often refer to it as 'the first place I've ever felt at home.' The multi-culture is one of these reasons, the busyness, the networking and the career opportunities. And for other reasons - I've met some wonderful people - true friends who have really nested into my heart.

Manchester has changed me. I'm more confident, motivated, more ambitious, more independent and happier than I've ever been before

Smiley face!