Amended and posted off my letter

This one sounds a lot better and straight to the point. It only needs to state three main things;

• Who am I?
• Why am I contacting them?
• What I do want from them? 

Dear Mr. Beard, 

Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Donna Mallett and I am studying Creative Media and Visual Communication at The Manchester College. My tutor, Alexandra Jackson’s son Jay goes to your school and recommended I contact you as I’m doing a project you might be interested in.

As part of my third year degree module, I aim to develop an educational activity pack based on Ancient Egypt, that includes facts, puzzles, illustrations and craft based activities. The pack is aimed at Key Stage 2 children.

For this purpose I need to be in-touch with an established educator who would act as my client. If at all possible, it would be beneficial for my research if I could visit the school to hand out questionnaires and gather feedback so I can determine the needs of the stated target audience.

Any help that you can offer would be beneficial to my studies.

Thank you for taking your time to read my letter.

Kind Regards,

Donna Mallett

......................................

Action - Also send an email to Libby Moony who may be able to help me out with finding a tutor if this doesn't work out.